Leadership & Gloria Steinem
Gloria Steinem died this week, and as is the trend, I looked more into her legacy after her death. I knew of Steinem and her work and writings from courses during my undergraduate degree, and I knew about her leadership and activism in the feminist movement. Steinem was active in feminist advocacy up until the very end; she truly dedicated her life to advancing women’s rights.
Photo credit: The New Yorker
Even though she wrote a lot, there’s one quote from Steinem that really sums up what leadership means to me. She once said:
“so whatever you want to do, just do it...Making a damn fool of yourself is absolutely essential.”
Here’s the thing - it’s easy to take ourselves seriously. We live in a world where we’re constantly inundated with bad news (like Dolly Parton, Tim Curry and Gloria Steinem all dying within a week of each other) and scary politics (too many examples to list). It's hard to feel secure enough to make a fool of yourself. And some people don’t have the privilege of being able to ‘just do’ the things they want to do, or they risk their safety if they do act a fool.
I’m lucky enough to have the privilege of being able to act foolishly, try new things and show up imperfectly. To me, that’s what leadership is. It’s being authentic and realistic with the people around you, admitting when you’re wrong, and trying again.
Being foolish is also about connection. When you let your guard down and are willing to make mistakes (publicly), you demonstrate humanness. You also allow others to let their guards down. As a leader, this is critical because exemplifying adaptability and growth when doing the hard thing creates a culture of authenticity and supportiveness, instead of fear and risk avoidance.
When I read this Steinem quote, it made me think of my time at an organization where the leadership was underpinned by fear and insecurity. When I was working there, we had an all-staff town hall, where as many teams as possible showed up for organizational updates. My colleague was tasked with an afternoon icebreaker, so after lunch he gathered us all in a large circle of about 30 people. The icebreaker was simple - someone starts us off with a dance move, then the person beside them does the first person’s dance move and adds their own. The third person does the first and second person’s dance move and adds their own, etc. By the fifth or sixth person, things get silly and a little awkward because there’s no music, but what usually happens is lots of laughter and people supporting each other as they try to remember all the moves.
Our executive director was something like 28th in the circle, so the dance was going to be long.
When it came to his turn, he couldn’t do it. He was too embarrassed to do a dance in front of his colleagues, all of whom looked up to him as a leader.
It may seem small, but I lost some respect for him just then. Because we all made a fool of ourselves in front of him and he refused to do so, the vulnerability in dancing (badly) in front of a group came rushing in. The trust was lost and - perhaps inadvertently - he positioned himself as better than everyone in the group because, as the leader, he could opt out when uncomfortable. The connection broke, and sure, maybe this is a small thing, but it showed me that being authentic, taking risks, and building relationships based on trust were not his priority.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t take things seriously, but I am arguing that showing up willing to get it wrong is better than walking away out of fear that you’ll mess up. Doing anything out of your comfort zone is usually the thing that is most worth doing, and it’s the hardest thing to do.
Gloria Steinem knew this when she encouraged us to pursue our dreams and be leaders in advancing equity.
May she rest in power.
